Workshop Response- "My Mother's Sister"

Response to Dylan Gibson’s “My Mother’s Sister”

            The main significance of this story seems to be the idea of family secrets, and how things you never knew about can affect those around you.

            I really liked your story! I thought it was very well crafted, and I could identify with a lot of it, even though I have never had an experience similar to yours. I really loved the way you described being in your grandparent’s house as a kid. I thought the whole paragraph about secrets on page two was really great. I always felt the same way when I went to my grandparent’s house; there is always so much old stuff that is so interesting. I also really liked when you referred to the town as a “town” on page 4, I could definitely hear your sarcasm through your voice.

            I think for improvement you could shorten the description of the various decaying towns. You used the word “decay” a lot for starters, and I think we all could picture what you were describing after one or two descriptions. I think if you specified what age you were when you went to see your aunt’s grave could add a lot of context and meaning. I think you could also speak a little more about how your aunt has affected you, unless you’re trying to say that it hasn’t affected you at all (which I kind of get from the title-it's impersonal). Your ending is really powerful, I absolutely loved it, but I think that it speaks more about your grandfather than it does about you. I was also unsure about what you were trying to get across in the paragraph about death on the top of the last page. Overall, this was a really amazing short story, great job!