Response to Mary-Kate Sherer
The larger significance in this
work is the idea that the future is unknown and life can take you anywhere, but
some things, like Mary-Kate’s passion for cooking, remain constant.
I like how
you display your knowledge of cooking. It really gave me the sense that you
knew what you were talking about. I could feel how excited you were when you
flipped the vegetables and succeeded in catching them on page three. I actually
laughed when I read what your dad said about the heat on page two, that you
should turn down the heat while cooking. My dad says that just about every time
I cook, and always tells me that that’s the reason my mom burns a lot of food.
It was a really nice personal moment that showcased a little of your relationship
with your dad while also allowing you to showcase your knowledge of cooking.
For
revision, I would suggest spicing up or cutting out some of the imagery and
descriptions you use in the beginning while you’re making dinner. It seemed to
lag some. I liked how you talked about the joy you experience during
preparation, but I would have liked to know if you get a lot of joy from people’s
reactions to your food. I know when I cook, I can’t wait to see if the people I’m
serving liked it or not. At the top of page two, you kind of hint at that when
you say that people often use food to show love. I think you could really
elaborate on that point. I thought you did a really nice job with incorporating
your larger idea and not sounding cheesy (pun intended).
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