The Coronado Bridge

The Coronado Bridge

   As I exit the interstate, I’m confronted by the multiple suicide hotline and warning signs that line the onramp. My stomach twinges anxiously as I pass the point-of-no-return. For the next two miles, I’m at the mercy of the bridge. The comfort of being on the ground evaporates as I begin the steep climb that is the Coronado Bridge. It’s foggy, so all I can see is a cloud of walls waiting for me at the top. There aren’t any fences, and the concrete barrier is only half the height of my car. It’s rush hour, so that means the westbound side only has two narrow lanes. I’m in the rightmost lane, and I grip the steering wheel in terror when I get to the highest point of the bridge, two hundred feet high, as a semi-truck passes in the lane next to me. As I gratefully begin my descent into safety, I realize the torture isn’t over- no one pays attention to the 50 MPH speed limit. I wasn’t even able to look at the view, I was too busy saving my life.

   

 As I drive up the bridge, all I can see is sky. I feel free, like I can do anything. As I pass the point-of-no-return, I get that twinge of excitement in the bottom of my stomach. For the next two miles, I belong to the bridge. It’s so steep, I feel as if I’m driving up to Heaven. As I reach the top, I can see it all. Mexico, mountains, San Diego, Coronado, Point Loma, and the Pacific Ocean all stretch out in front of me as far as the eye can see. The cars to my left and right are snapping pictures, thankfully there aren’t any fences to obstruct our view. I come over the tallest point, and Coronado reveals itself to me. Sailboats, paddle boarders, the Hotel Del, and sandy beaches. I come around the curve, and begin my descent into paradise. The sun is shining, and I shift into neutral and let my car gather speed down to the bottom.

Trashcan Exercise

The trashcan was full. Overflowing, really, with various old and unwanted items. The three-day-old Chinese takeout was starting to stink, but with one person in the house there wasn’t a reason to take out the trash that often. It was laying on top of the accidentally-thrown-away homework that he had given up searching for last night. Underneath the homework was some old, chewed gum wrapped in the receipt for that new videogame that he went to the midnight release to get. And at the very bottom of the trashcan, among other strange-smelling, molding pieces of food, was the not-quite-forgotten valentine he made for his now ex-girlfriend.

RESPONSE FOR 9/25

RESPONSE FOR 9/25

Both “Orientation” by Daniel Orozco and “Car Crash While Hitchhiking” by Denis Johnson have a supernatural element to them, specifically, fortune telling. In “Orientation”, we have the character Anika Bloom, whose palm bleeds when she tells the future (Orozco 485). She tells one of her coworkers exactly how and when his life would die. In “Car Crash While Hitchhiking”, the main character also has the ability to see the future, except he keeps it to himself and has no other physical symptoms of being able to see the future (like a bleeding palm). I found both of these short stories to be a little disturbing. I think “Orientation” was critiquing society and the typical American workplace, and I couldn’t see a similar purpose in “Car Crash While Hitchhiking”.

            In “Orientation” there is not any dialogue, but it is clear that the narrator is speaking to someone, who, inferring from the title, is a new employee being taken on an orientation of his new workplace. Orozco represents the various characters that we come across through the orientation through their various, mostly strange actions. For example, we get a description of Gwendolen Stich, who seems like a nice woman who tries to improve the people’s lives around her by bringing cupcakes and saying good morning to everyone (Orozco 487), but then we see that she has more to her character and is actually very distraught and possibly mentally ill (Orozco 486). In “Car Crash While Hitchhiking”, Johnson uses the narrator’s actions and feelings (or lack thereof) to show that the narrator is also mentally unstable, and has problems. For example, the narrator admits, with apathy, to using speed (Johnson 286) and when he knows there’s a car crash about to happen, he gets in the car anyway (Johnson 289). After the car crash, he doesn’t physically try to save or help anyone; he just takes the baby and walks around to see if someone else can help (Johnson 290).

RESPONSE FOR 9/24

RESPONSE FOR 9/24

     I have previously read The Things They Carried by Tim O'Brien in high school, but I did not appreciate the technique he uses to paint his characters until now. He seems to have a structured strategy of introducing his characters, which is showing their personalities, cares and worries through literally, the things they carry with them through Vietnam. These things can be objects, feelings or worries, etc. First O'Brien begins each new "scene" with a description of physical items the men do actually carry, like which kinds of weapons (O'Brien 472) or different sets of equipment (O'Brien 471)' and then segways into the items the men carry for "fun", like the Bible or marijuana (O'Brien 470). I also think its really interesting how the narrator does not use a lot of imagery or figurative language to paint the picture for the reader. For me, the narrator seemed to have almost a monotone voice, whose purpose was only to narrate, not enhance the experience for the reader. Another thing I thought was interesting was the fact that the narrator showed Lieutenant Cross's sorrow and preoccupation with the death of Lavender through the thoughts Cross had, not through his words or actions. Cross kept returning to the death of Lavender. For example, he would reference a specific event and say "On the morning after Ted Lavender died..." (O'Brien 481) and so on.
     I really enjoyed reading this excerpt from The Things They Carried and think I can learn a lot about subtly describing my characters through their actions and thoughts, not physical descriptions, or through their reactions to certain events, over a span of a few pages, instead of in one instance.

Workshop Response- "All in the Day"

Mary-Kate Sherer’s Poem “All in the Day”

I really liked the use of consonance with the letter “t” in the first stanza. I also enjoyed the repetition of the word “up”. I really like how the author mixes in the thoughts or words of the speaker with their experiences without using quotation marks; I think it adds some insight into the speaker.

            In general, one thing I think the poem needs to work on is its sound. Beginning with the second to last line of the first stanza and continuing to the last time of the poem, there is no flow and it begins to just sound like sentences or someone talking; it doesn’t sound like a poem anymore.

            The last line of the third stanza immediately made me go “oh no”, because it seemed to foreshadow a tragic event. So far in the poem, the speaker seems a little stressed at home and at work (trying to take care of the family and angry clients), and has noticed some weight gain, but continues to put others before her. The line “One more day won’t kill me”, implies that death is on the way, but that is not what we get at the end of the poem. I would consider revising this line, or maybe combining it with another line so it doesn’t stand alone, to avoid this.

            Lastly, I was a little confused about who the speaker actually was. Throughout the poem, until the last stanza, I assumed it was the mother of a family. But in the last stanza, which seems to be separate from the rest of the poem as a prayer, the speaker asks for patience with “Mom”. There is no indication that the speaker is having problems with their mother, so this seemed very out of the blue to me. I also didn't know who the speaker was talking to in the fourth stanza.

Workshop Response- "My Chacos"

Victoria Karagas’s Poem “My Chacos”

            I really liked the use of personification in this poem with the chacos. Even though they are shoes, they seem to be very much a part of the events of the poem, like the first kiss. I also really enjoyed the sound of the poem, especially the rhyme in the last line of the second stanza, “The adjustables reminisce on my first adolescent kiss”.

            There were a few times where I got a little confused about what was happening, like at the end of the first line of the second stanza, “they could tell you about the yellow paint splashed on each side”- each side of what? The chacos themselves, or are they describing a “best kept memory”? I think this could be a little clearer, along with what the activity the speaker was doing with the yellow paint. I also think there needs to be periods between each line of the second stanza, so it’s not one long sentence, and also because they are three separate ideas/memories and without periods they seem to blend together.

            I liked the rhyme with reminisce and kiss in the second stanza, but I think the poem would benefit from more of this type of sound. Not necessarily rhyming, but consonance and assonance as well, to give it a better flow. I really liked the last stanza, because of the image of the chacos under the bed waiting. It was a really nice way to end the poem.