Workshop Response- "Last Race"

Claire Nolan's Poem, "Last Race"          

            I really enjoyed reading this poem. I think the imagery is very clear and concise, and the author really gets not just the image, but also the feeling of the runner across to the reader. I like the use of the line placement to parallel when the runner takes off, and then again when the focus shifts back to the race. I love the metaphor with a bird, flying down from the sky to win the race. I really like the last three lines “breathless / and / high” and how they are separated. The pauses these line breaks make end the poem really well, and emphasize the feelings they’re describing, especially breathlessness. I think the author did a great job of using imagery to produce concrete images, and it was easy to understand what was happening in the poem; it was crystal clear.

            I think this poem could benefit from a few things. First, a space in between stanzas. The fact that every other two lines are indented gives the impression that there’s a new stanza, and if that is the case, then I would add a space in between each one to make that a clearer distinction. I also think that the flow of the poem is disrupted during the line that says “I could not let my body defeat my mind”. I think “defeat my mind” doesn’t really fit in with the flow of the poem.