Friday, February 21, 2014

Response to Justin Middleton’s “The Sun of the Stage”

Response to Justin Middleton’s “The Sun of the Stage”

            In “The Sun of the Stage” the main character is Mr. Akron, who volunteered to fill the director’s place in the school play when Ralph couldn’t make it. He wants to help out his son, Scott, while he performs on stage, but while operating the soundboard knocks over one of the high school student’s, Lea’s, purse and finds two knives. He tries to hide the knives from her, she finds out and eventually is there is a fight between them and he accidentally stabs her.
            I really loved the main character’s voice, and how he was sarcastic and funny.  One of my favorite lines was when he saw Ralph’s notes for a recipe with ricin, to which he replied, “Which is to say, not helpful.” I also liked your descriptions of Lea, your stereotypical high school girl. I thought that your description of her on the first page, when she pinches her nose and waves her hand around. It is very comical and what one would expect. I think this also makes it much more interesting when Mr. Akron finds the knives in her purse, because it is the last thing you would expect to find in there.

            For revision, I would make the age of Scott clearer. We know he’s in middle or high school, but from the description of his poking his head out behind the curtains on the first page, I at first thought he was much younger. Once I realized it was a play it made a little more sense, but his nickname, “Scotch Tape,” is one that makes me thing he is very young. I would also describe better what happened to the mother. Page seven makes me think that the mother passed away, but it is never confirmed and left me wondering. Lastly, at the end of the story, I was a little confused as to what happened to Mr. Akron. The line, “the world closes in and I wonder, I wonder, if this is how my wife felt,” makes it seem like he died, but I wasn’t sure because as far as I could tell people had just grabbed him and pulled him away. Overall though, I really enjoyed your story!

No comments:

Post a Comment