Response to Elizabeth Wieck's "Lunch Date"

Response to Elizabeth Wieck’s “Lunch Date”

                The main character, Liz, wants to take her best friend, Janet out to lunch and go shopping. Janet however has Alzheimer’s and because of that the two get into a fight. Liz realizes that life with Janet is going to be different and much harder in the coming years.

                I really liked the scene where Janet gets upset in the store. I thought that the fact a 64 year old woman wanted a red bra and underwear and went straight into the junior’s section was ironic and hilarious. I also liked your description of Vickie, who seems to just pop out of nowhere and tries to be helpful, but just ends up being annoying and making things worse. I really dislike those types of sales people and could totally relate to Janet in that moment. I think you did a really nice job characterizing Janet and displaying her disease, especially when she suggests McDonald’s for lunch and forgets to wear a bra.

                For revision, I think you could expand the scene where Janet is getting upset in the store and make it more dramatic. I think Liz should get more involved, especially when Janet flashes the Vickie right there in front of everyone. I think if Liz told Vickie about Janet’s disease it would increase the tension and give Janet a better reason for being angry with her. I think your story could also benefit from more backstory of Janet and Liz’s relationship before she got sick, so as to contrast how different it was for them now. Also, I think more description of the husband and how he is a little insensitive could help explain why Janet wanted to get out of the house so badly. Overall, I thought you did a really nice job exploring the difficulties of dealing with someone you love changing and getting ill.