Monday, October 14, 2013

Workshop Response- "Adolfo's Son Talked Too Much"


Hunter Cohen’s “Adolfo’s Son Talked Too Much”

The main character is Sigmund, who is also known as S. The conflict is that his new friend, Charlie, is African American, and is kicked out of Sigmund’s favorite diner. Sigmund also wants to tutor the owner of the diner, Adolfo’s, son in English, but because of this will not be able to.
            I liked the way you characterized all of your characters. By saying Louis had greasy hair and that his breath smelled like whiskey that implies that he is not very put together and lazy. I also thought you did a good job with having your characters interact with the setting to break up dialogue, like when Adolfo points at the sign that said “white and colored only.” I really liked the line “’I live the American Dream,’ I replied with a hint of sarcasm.” I thought it told us about Sigmund’s character and I thought it was funny. You also did a good job of characterizing him through his actions. I saw him as being very kind, since he had just met Louis and invited him out to breakfast, paid for him, and gave him his sunglasses. You also do a really good job of showing Sigmund’s thoughts without making it sound like he is talking to himself.
            I think the conflict could be introduced a little earlier, and be clearer. I was not sure what Sigmund wanted, or how he changed at the end of the story. I think adding the conflict earlier will help the story not be as slow. I also was a little confused by Louis’s character. It seemed strange that two people would meet for the first time after a party they were both at, especially when Louis stayed the night at Sigmund’s apartment. I also was not sure what mentioning the party did for the story, since they did not meet there. I also thought the ending didn’t resolve anything- Sigmund did not get to talk to Adolfo. I was also confused by the title. It made me think that Adolfo’s son would play a part in the story, but he was only mentioned once or twice, and didn’t actually say anything.

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